Meaning of Workplace Objects

Here's a list of common items you find on the workdesks of your officemates. I've taken the time to translate what they're trying to convey and what they really mean.

Anime Figurines

- I am a connoisseur of the oriental art of animation.

- I secretly masturbate to this figurine when nobody is around.

World's Best Dad Mug

- I have children who love me, hence the mug.

- My children are either largely unimaginative or gifted with the virtue of sarcasm

Lots of paperwork

- I'm a very busy person, back off.

- I hate mother nature, and digital information.

Certificates/Trophies

- I am the alpha employee in this office. Just take a look at it.

- But it doesn't make up for my small penis.

Pictures of Children

- My children are awesome.

- If you hate long long tales of my kid's firsts, avoid bringing that topic up.

Chinese ornaments

- I've very sensitive to the chi around me, which I feel compelled to protect with these artifacts.

- Sometimes, I see dead people.

Rubbing Alcohol

- I'm a very hygienic person.

- Sometimes, when we talk, I imagine bacteria coming out of your mouth hitting my face. Gross.


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Top 10 Reasons the 2012 Apocalypse Will Not Happen

10. Duke Nukem Forever still needs to come out.

9. We're still waiting for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's offspring to grow up so we can see what happens when you win the biggest genetic powerball in history.

8. Twilight Saga's next twenty films ensure we have bigger things to worry about.

7. I still haven't seen any cellphone capable of toasting bread.

6. Nobody's decided yet which religion will bring people to heaven.

5. Hell's probably still too overcrowded, no thanks to internet and internet p0rn.

4. After six years, Ragnarok Online is still in beta, as God intended.

3. Erap might win this election, in which case apocalypse will happen sooner than later.

2. Kris Aquino can't run for presidency until the next election.

1. Chuck Norris does not wait for the apocalypse. The apocalypse waits for Chuck Norris.


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Red Dates A Supermodel

I went out on a date with a supermodel one day. I was not even impressed. The whole night, I didn't even get to see her fly. The supermodel told me, "Are you fucking kidding me?" I told her no of course. I'm pretty sure supermodels can't be called super unless they can fly. They're just hiding it. Why else would they call the stage "RUNWAY"? Read more!

Sabrina’s “I Love Acoustic: Intimate Interpretations of Your Favorite Hits Download/Review

Anyway, I thought I'd do some album reviewing for a while since I'm too busy at the moment to do full articles. I figured we can kick start with something mellow.


Sabrina’s I Love Acoustic: Intimate Interpretations of Your Favorite Hits.


No, I'm not kidding. That's the title of the album. Quite a mouthful, if you ask me, and not mention it sounds as frigging stupid as Buruguduystunstugudunstuy. Only for the latter's case, it's intentional. I mean really, Love? Acoustic? Intimate? Greatest Hits? What other random word do you need to chuck into the cover page? It's almost as if whoever thought of the title was desperate to catch the attention of the type of people who browse their music by keywords. To be fair though, nobody can ever judge an album's content by its cover, why, Jericho Rosales's album cover sucked too and...


Okay, nevermind. Let's just move on.

As said in the album, Sabrina covers popular love songs in this album. I really don't get why covering songs is all the rage nowadays. How long will we keep on accepting the reason for this is nostalgia? How about laziness? Yeah, that. Anyway, a good cover's still better than a bad new song, so let's just let that slide.

Here are a few songs worthy of note for this album:

A Thousand Miles
Vanessa Carlton has a notably fancy schlancy style, while keeping that snap at the end of her verses that adds a hint of poppiness to the song. Sabrina took that fanciness and ran around with it, ending with a song softer than the dongs of people who came in contact with Vina Morales. Also worthy to note, the original rendition is already ACOUSTIC, albeit PIANO acoustic. Which made me think that the only reason this was included is because people thought acoustic had something to do with being covered using a guitar or something.

Superman

A notably masculine song, sang by a female artist. Cute. But why change every "man" word in the song to "girl" and still keep the title? Fucking stupid. Seriously. Everytime I listen to this, I die a little.

Way Back Into Love
Hugh Grant sang this. Hugh Grant is the musical world's equivalent of the Little Engine That Could. Obviously this song is very very hard to screw up so Sabrina does okay here. Okay maybe not that much. What's with the strange falsetto (like there's a leaking airtank somewhere in the studio)? Falsetto is cute, but this is just too much.

The rest of the songs are pretty much the same. Sabrina likes to sing cute, which is something I'd like to hear when going to videokes with friends, not when I want to listen to something prerecorded. Too cute = maarte. That about sums up almost every song in this album.

Best Track?
You're Beautiful by James Blunt. For some reason, Blunt's pussy-style of singing blends well with Sabrina's style, and barely makes up for the other covers. But that's just me.

Overall Recommendation?
Sabrina's I Love Acoustic: Intimate Interpretations of Your Favorite Hits is like those fancy chinaware every Filipino family has. Fancy as hell, but hardly something you'd find using on a regular basis, and if you do, it's only mostly to impress other people.

Download The Album Via This Link
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Full Disclosure

I just one to let this out. One more time. I am so fucking angry at my fucking job right now. For those of you who aren't too familiar about what I do, I am working for a year-old IT firm that absorbed my old company last year. Upon absorption, I retained my status as Lead Analyst of the Java team, and it's all been good. Or rather it would have, except after being absorbed by our new company, the workload that was coming from our client company more than doubled. Meanwhile, our team increased by a magnitude of big fat zero. Simple math says, everybody had to take in double responsibilities, and half the normal rest time.

Frequent friction between our team and our client's side lead to the decision of upper management that maybe, to solve issues that stem from people making mistakes because of overwork, it'd be a good idea to lynch everybody that made mistakes. Three more staff left/were force to leave, bringing our total strength from 16 to thirteen. One of the staff that got removed was my direct head, our section manager.

Not wanting to see some nobody to take the now vacant helm, I was literally forced into taking my boss' position, without so much as an increase in pay, or even a change in title. But I figured it had to be done, so I did it anyway. Our general manager said the promotion will follow eventually. My workload, already double, went triple because I had to do what my section manager used to do, on top of what I'm doing already. Chalk it up to experience. Suck it all in.

We were basically overloaded for the better half of this year. I couldn't even take one vacation leave for the last five months. Not a single fucking one. And we did our job as good as we could. My team basically outperformed the better part of this company in cost/revenue. And HK even sent good words to upper management for our performance.

We're not perfect and god knows we've had our share of mistakes along the way, but we knew we our standing. We were making money and the clients are happy. That's the bottom line.

Then came the appraisals. Our former section manager appraised most of my team, as well as me. And to his credit, I can understand his somewhat modest ratings, as it made sense to make sure that the bell curve to be normal, meaning more people get the middle value compared to the lower and upper extremes. We still got higher than the average so it's more than acceptable. (see graph)


After performing the appraisals, carefully informing the staff of their strengths and points of improvements, we submitted the results to management, who then performed the subsequent calculations for the actual performance adjustment.

Now this is where shit hit the fan. Somewhere along the way, somebody thought it wise to just move the scale up, even though it will pull everybody's scores down inexplicably and produce a motherfucking skewed distribution below.

Because of the adjustment, all of my team members, including me, suddenly appeared subpar. On a scale from A-H, the highest any single member of my team got was E, while some of us did not even get a rank (because they were too low).

Talk about pushing hard and slapping people in the face.

Can you imagine that? Working hard the whole year, being told by everybody including the upper management that your team is doing great, and is one miracle short of being Jesus and then you get a fucking F for all your hassles?

Because of that, and the amazingly stingy policy of management, I got a raise that's not even half of the first raise that I got when I started as a trainee, 5 years ago.

But nevermind the money. On top of that, upper management had the gall to tell my staff individually about complaints coming from HK, which appeared to be random, because even the highest regarded developers somehow got requests of demotion from HK. We verified this and the reports were obviously pulled out of thin air. No substantial evidence could be given. Nothing.

Of course I complained. Oh hell I complained. I asked management if they thought there was something wrong with the team getting real low results despite being good performers. They told me, yes there's something wrong with that. Then I ask them if it can be fixed. I got a big fat NO for an answer. You know what's worse than getting ripped? Being told by whoever ripped you that they really did rip you, but only because they know you can't do anything about it.

Morale in our group has been in an all time low since that day.

I have never been so insulted in my whole career as the day I got my appraisal results, to be honest. It wouldn't have hurt as much if it happened some other time. Any year but this year, because this year, fuck, I knew deep inside my heart that
this was the year I tried hardest.

I argued of course. And in the end, our general manager told me that he will try to make amends through the title adjustments that was supposed to happen after a month. If people got promoted, we figured, salaries are bound to go up and at the very least, people will get their needed reassurance that they didn't work their asses off just to get E's and F's.

Earlier, during a meeting, we were told that the promotions will not happen anytime this year, and even if it did, that I cannot promote everybody - a stark contrast to what I was told, and what I committed to my staff, simply because it's "hard" to do. Funny, because I can't remember an instance we stopped doing something just because it was "hard".

Appraisals are supposed to give people something to look forward to, something that will make them want to work more, because god knows work in itself is just toxic. This year, the appraisal worked opposite, making you just want to work less sterlingly.

And personally, doing management work while retaining my old title is awkward as fuck. Nobody wants to get instructed by somebody who's barely their rank.

What the fuck.

People will think this post is biased on my side, because I'm angry and I just need to vent out. I don't really care. I have numbers to back my side. Substantial numbers that can prove beyond the shadow of the doubt how much BS we got for our efforts.

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MindBlogging: This Is It (the movie)

9:40PM, Outside the theater.

Is that Ben playing in the audio system? They're really going all out on this one huh.

Okay, I see lots of people outside the theater. This is the last full show. Why are there so many people? Somebody might recognize me.

Michael Jackson hat count: five. Fuck it, I'mma go get me popcorn.

Oh sweet. This popcorn can only be the best tribute to Michael. Overflowing pop inside a plastic container.

Okay, my sisters are screaming like crazy. I should have bought something else. Like a face mask. Or extra dignity.

9:45 Inside the theater.

Oh hey, trailers. I love trailers. They don't have Michael Jackson innit.

Fuck, New Moon. I've changed my mind. On with the movie.

Sisters are screaming again. I can feel parts of my soul silently shrinking.

This has got to be the longest "The Making Of" show I've ever seen.

Great, more commentaries from crusty white people and too-perky-to-be-normal black people.

So this kinda makes things more like "This Would've Been It" instead of "This Is It".

Michael Jackson is just so meticulous in everything. If I were one of these people, who rehearsed for months for a big fat nothing, I'd probably kill the doctor who OD'ed Jacko.

I will not make jokes about children appearing in this movie.

I will not make jokes about children appearing in this movie.

I will not make jokes about children appearing in this movie.

Sisters are screaming and clapping after every performance. The crowd's getting infected. I hear sporadic screaming too.

Michael Jackson started thanking everybody in his family but Janet Jackson. Does this mean the superbowl titty got her disowned?

Disowned by the weirdest person on earth. Wow that sucks.

To be fair, at 50 years old, Michael's in pretty good shape. But then again, plastic is supposed to last for hundreds of years before decaying.

Okay, my sister is staring at me. She can read my thoughts. I know it. I have to be careful. Rabid fans are deadlier than drunks.

More screaming. It's official. My sisters are now officially barred from mocking rabid Twilight fans. Forever.

There's a cute screaming MJ fan four rows above me. I wonder if she'll put out if I tell her I've seen the '96 concert.

On second thought, I'd rather stay here and try to recuperate what dignity I have left.

Out of popcorn. I'm on my own now. Damn it.

1 hour and 30 minutes. It's official, this shit is longer than the tribute we gave Mother Teresa.

Credit roll. Wow, the movie is actually over. My sisters are not leaving. The other fans are staying behind too.

This cannot be good. This cannot be good.

Okay, there's something else after the credits.

The whole theater is screaming now, including the fat chinese guy behidn me. I'm panicking. I'm panicking. I'm panicking.

False alarm. I need to urinate.

NOW.


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Philippine Stock Broker Codes

This post is more of a post for me than you guys. Here is a list of Philippine stock broker and their corresponding broker codes. You will need this when monitoring which Brokerage is buying/selling what stock, specially when tracking the movements of holding companies. If it's relevant to your interests, you're welcome. If it's not, come back tomorrow or later. We'll talk about something else.



Broker Number Broker Name
101 A & A Securities, Inc.
104 A.T. De Castro Securities Corporation
237 Aaa Southeast Equities, Inc.
112 Ab Capital Securities, Inc.
102 Abacus Securities Corporation
103 Accord Capital Equities Corporation
369 Active Earnings, Inc.
232 Alakor Securities Corporation
105 All Asiasecurities Management Corporation
106 Alpha Securities Corporation
110 Angping & Associates Securities, Inc.
111 Ansaldo, Godinez & Company, Inc.
255 Apex Phils. Equities Corporation
388 Armstrong Securities, Inc.
116 Asia Pacific Capital Equities & Securities Corp.
117 Asiamerit Securities, Inc.
118 Asiasec Equities, Inc.
119 Astra Securities Corporation
120 Atc Securities, Inc.
220 Atr Kimeng Securities, Inc.
167 Aurora Securities, Inc.
124 B. H. Chua Securities Corporation
109 Ba Securities, Inc.
279 Bdo Securities, Inc.
122 Belson Securities, Inc.
123 Benjamin Co Ca & Company, Inc.
272 Bernad Securities, Inc.
221 Bnp Paribas Investment (Phils.), Inc.
207 Bnp Paribas Peregrine Securities, Inc.
126 Bpi Securities Corporation
128 Campos, Lanuza & Company, Inc.
186 Cdib Venture Investment (Asia) Limited
130 Century Securities Corporation
226 Chilip, Christopher
173 Christfund Securities (Phils.), Inc.
134 Citicorp Securities International (Rp), Inc.
203 Citiseconline.Com., Inc.
133 Citisecurities, Inc.
323 Clsa Philippines, Inc.
387 Coherco Securities, Inc.
141 Cualoping Securities Corporation
204 Da Market Securities, Inc.
143 David Go Securities Corporation
142 Dbp-Daiwa Securities Smbc Philippines., Inc.
184 Dbs Vickers Securities (Phils.), Inc.
209 Deutsche Regis Partners, Inc.
145 Diversified Securities, Inc.
328 Dw Capital, Inc.
212 E*Trade Securities Corporation
147 E. Chua Chiaco Securities, Inc.
283 Eagle Equities, Inc.
150 Eastern Securities Development Corp.
149 Eastwest Capital Corporation
151 Ebc Securities Corporation
261 Eib Securities, Inc.
153 Equitiworld Securities, Inc.
154 Evergreen Stock Brokerage & Securities, Inc.
162 F. Yap Securities, Inc.
155 Feb Stock Brokers, Inc.
243 Fidelity Securities, Inc.
156 Finvest Securities Company, Inc
159 First Integrated Capital Sec., Inc.
267 First Metro Securities Brokerage Corporation
157 First Orient Securities, Inc.
108 Five Karats Property Holdings, Inc.
160 Fortune Securities, Inc.
161 Francisco Ortigas Securities, Inc.
288 G. D. Tan & Company, Inc.
165 G. K. Goh Securities (Phils.), Inc.
168 Globalinks Securities & Stocks, Inc.
191 Go, Ma. Angelica V.
285 Golden Tower Sec. & Holdings, Inc.
170 Goldstar Securities, Inc.
289 Grand Asia Secuirites, Inc.
172 Guild Securities, Inc.
171 Guoco Securities (Phils.), Inc.
175 H.E. Bennett Securities, Inc.
174 Hdi Securities, Inc.
177 Highland Securities Phils., Inc.
178 Hk Securities, Inc.
268 Hsbc Securities(Philippines), Inc.
179 I. Ackerman & Company, Inc.
180 I. B. Gimenez Securities, Inc.
140 Igc Securities, Inc.
182 Imperial De Guzman, Abalos & Co., Inc.
183 Intra-Invest Securities, Inc.
181 Investors Securities, Inc.
188 J. M. Barcelon & Company, Inc.
185 J. P. Morgan Securities Philippines, Inc.
125 Jaka Securities Corporation
265 Jocrison Securities, Inc.
234 John Dy Hianto
169 Jsg Securities, Inc.
271 Kgi Securities (Phils.), Inc.
389 King`S Power Securities, Inc.
193 Larrgo Securities Company, Inc.
187 Lee Hiong T. Wee
195 Litonjua Securities, Inc.
197 Lopez, Locsin, Ledesma & Company, Inc.
198 Lucky Securities, Inc.
199 Luy`S Securities Company, Inc.
121 Macquarie Capital Securities (Philippines), Inc.
139 Magnum International Securities, Inc.
200 Mandarin Securities Corporation
201 Marian Securities, Inc.
202 Marino Olondriz Y Cia
208 Mdr Securities, Inc.
205 Mercantile Securities Corp.
206 Meridian Securities, Inc.
210 Mount Peak Securities, Inc.
211 New World Securities, Inc.
213 Nieves Sanchez, Inc.
214 Nomura Securities Phils., Inc.
228 Norman Vincent L. Wee
227 Ocbc Securities Phils., Inc.
215 Optimum Securities Corporation
245 Orion-Squire Capital, Inc.
218 Pan Asia Securities Corporation
219 Papa Securities Corporation
287 Paragon Strategic Holdings, Inc.
282 Pcci Securities Brokers Corp.
131 Pcib Securities, Inc.
250 Pearlbank Securities, Inc.
276 Phil-Progress Securities Corp.
138 Phileoallied Securities (Philippines), Inc.
338 Philippine Equity Partners, Inc.
132 Philippine Ta Securities, Inc.
222 Pierce Interlink Securities, Inc.
223 Platinum Securities, Inc.
224 Pnb Securities, Inc.
225 Premium Securities, Inc.
229 Public Securities Corporation
230 Quality Investment & Securities Corp.
231 R & L Investments, Inc.
233 R. Coyiuto Securities, Inc.
236 R. Nubla Securities, Inc.
238 R.S. Lim & Company, Inc.
152 Rashid Hussain Securities (Phils.), Inc.
176 Rbs Asia Securities Inc.
217 Rcbc Securities, Inc.
235 Regina Capital Development Corp.
239 Rtg & Company, Inc.
240 S.J. Roxas & Company, Inc.
241 Sapphire Securities, Inc.
113 Sarangani Securities, Inc.
115 Sb Equities, Inc.
368 Securities 2000, Inc.
148 Securities Plus, Inc.
242 Securities Specialists, Inc.
258 Sg Securities (Hk) Limited
129 Sincere Securities Corporation
286 Solar Securities, Inc.
247 Standard Securities Corporation
192 Strategic Equities Corporation
246 Summit Securities, Inc
248 Sun Hung Kai Securities (Phils.), Inc.
249 Supreme Stockbroker, Inc.
251 Tansengco & Company, Inc.
252 The First Resources Management & Securities Corporation
280 Topwin Securities, Inc.
253 Tower Securities, Inc.
254 Trans-Asia Securities, Inc.
256 Trendline Securities Corporation
257 Tri-State Securities, Inc.
136 Triton Securities Corporation
333 Ubs Securities Philippines Inc.
259 Ucpb Securities, Inc.
345 Unicapital Securities, Inc.
260 Uob-Kay Hian Securities (Philippines), Inc.
100 Upcc Securities Corporation
190 Value Quest Securities Corporation
158 Velasco, Geronimo Jr. F.
263 Venture Securities, Inc.
266 Vicsal Securities & Stock Brokerage, Inc.
135 Vsec.Com Inc.
269 Wealth Securities, Inc.
270 Westlink Global Equities, Inc.
146 Wise Securities Phils., Inc.
273 Wong Securities Corporation
274 Worldsec International Sec. (Phils.) Inc.
275 Yao & Zialcita, Inc.
277 Yaptinchay Securities Corporation
278 Yu & Company, Inc.
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